Honor Thy Mother
by rollinginfla
Summary: After months of planning, the fundraiser for Johanna Beckett is finally happening in grand fashion. Kate is understandably nervous about exposing this part of her life to the public, but finds someone to lean on to get her through it...Rick Castle.
1. I Like It

Chapter 1: "I Like It"

Working in perfect harmony the improbable crime-fighting duo deftly manipulated the knobs and levers on the gleaming apparatus that only a few years ago Kate had refused to even acknowledge. The result of their joint effort was two perfectly brewed cups of coffee. The obvious symbolism of their combined endeavor was never lost on their coworkers; however, Kate and Castle seemed oblivious to what was so apparent to everyone around them. Their relationship had grown well beyond the traditional partnership, but neither was willing to admit it to the other or in Kate's case…even to herself.

They sat alone in the rare quietude of the break room of the 12th Precinct enjoying their coffee. It had been a long week and everyone else had gone home. The pair had just arrested and booked the suspect in their latest case and were discussing the loose ends that would need to be tied up when they returned on Monday. Their conversation turned to the upcoming weekend. After months of planning and preparation, the fundraising gala for Johanna Beckett was this Saturday at the Plaza Hotel's Grand Ballroom.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" Castle asked.

"Um…I guess," Kate replied anxiously. "My dad is excited. He said he was looking forward to meeting you. I told him prepare to be underwhelmed," Kate joked.

Castle feigned a hurt expression followed by an enthusiastic smile. "Have you ever been to the Plaza's Grand Ballroom?" Castle asked eagerly. Kate shook her head indicating that she hadn't. "The great Truman Capote hosted his legendary Black & White Ball in the Plaza's Grand Ballroom. Like Capote's ball, this will be an eclectic mix of New York socialites, Hollywood idols, artists, authors and writers, political powerhouses, and of course…a few underprivileged cops. Capote decided to host a party that would be his _'great, big, all-time spectacular present'_ to himself," Castle explained excitedly. Kate listened with amusement as her partner described the ball with a buoyancy in his voice akin to a star struck teenager describing his first rock concert. The animated look on Castle's face while he cheerfully described Capote's infamous gala all of a sudden turned into one of genuine admiration.

"Unlike Capote, this party is going to be _your_ great, big, all-time spectacular present to your mom and her legacy." As Kate's eyes met Castle's, she couldn't help but wonder how he still managed to do that after all this time together…knock her off balance, that is.

"Thank you, Castle," she managed in a whisper.

Kate began nervously tapping her fingers on the table as she was suddenly struck by the enormity of the event. Even with Castle following her around and chronicling her life in two bestselling novels, she had managed to keep her private heartbreak out of the public domain. Very few people had ever caught a glimpse of the pain and isolation her mother's murder had wrought in her. Now she was allowing it to be laid bare for the entire world to see. She was grateful for the opportunity to honor her mother in such a magnificent fashion, but she felt exposed in a way that quite frankly scared the hell out of her.

Castle could teach a master class on Kate Beckett's every facial expression and her apprehension was not lost on him. He was one of the few people who had the occasion to see the tiny fissures in her otherwise impenetrable facade. He knew she was nervous and scared. Castle also realized that if she managed to make it through her mother's fundraiser, it would be a huge step in Kate's healing process. And Castle was determined to make sure the remarkable woman sitting across from him, trying so desperately at the moment to summon up her bravado, made it through to the other side of this tragedy.

Castle cautiously interlaced his fingers with those that Kate had been unconsciously tapping on the table allowing her time to pull away if that was what she needed. She didn't pull away, but hesitantly spread her fingers to interlock them with those that Castle was timidly offering. The simple connection had a soothing effect on Kate. Kate looked up from their clasped hands to read the expression on Castle's face trying to understand the meaning of his gesture.

"Throughout her short life, your mother displayed an extraordinary strength and courage…the kind of strength and courage that I've only seen in one other woman," Castle continued with unwavering conviction. "_Kate_! _You are your mother's daughter!_" A grateful smile crept across Kate's face as she almost imperceptibly squeezed Castle's hand. Castle smiled as he slowly withdrew his hand from hers to grab his jacket off the back of the chair.

"Plus…you're lucky," Castle said with an amused grin.

"Lucky, eh? How's that?" Kate replied with a faint laugh grateful for the levity he was apparently interjecting.

"Because you've got me…and whether you _like_ it or not, I won't leave your side tomorrow…not for a minute."

"Castle!" Kate called after him.

Castle turned around to face her as he reached the door. "Yea?"

"I _like_ it!" Kate said, surprising herself and Castle with the spontaneous admission.

She immediately lifted her mug to her lips taking in a mouthful of coffee in an effort to conceal the self-conscious smile spreading across her face. Castle returned her awkward smile and left the precinct with a renewed sense of optimism.


	2. Grand Entrance

Chapter 2: The Grand Entrance

The shiny black Town Car pulled up along 5th Avenue near 59th Street waiting its turn to deposit its occupants under the flags adorning the front of the Plaza Hotel. Upon reaching its destination, an immaculately costumed bellhop promptly opened the rear passenger door revealing a stunning brunette in her early 30's and a distinguished looking gentleman of about 60. The bellhop took the hand of the woman helping her from the car. She emerged in a stunning midnight blue sequined gown with a modestly plunging neckline and a slit up the right side that, as she stepped onto the curb, revealed a flawless pair of incredibly long legs. The woman's hair was delicately swept up with wavy tendrils of hair softly framing her face. She wore a single piece of jewelry…a chain around her neck bearing a simple gold band. Perhaps not the typical bauble one might expect to find at such an extravagant affair, but somehow it worked on this lovely woman. "Oh! It's you! I…I almost didn't recognize you Detective…Miss Beckett," stammered the bellhop. "Have we met, Jimmy?" Kate replied, instinctively looking at his name tag. "No…no Ma'am, but Mr. Castle's been out here…um…well…a few times to check if you'd arrived. He made me promise to take excellent care of you and your father. Mr. Castle described you…said I would know you when I saw you," Jimmy said motioning to the ring hanging from her neck. Jim Beckett who had exited the Town Car during this exchange smiled to himself. Apparently, Richard Castle knew his daughter pretty well. Jimmy escorted the special guests through the lobby of the hotel and directed them towards the Grand Ballroom earning the twenty dollars Castle had slipped him earlier.

As soon as they entered the hotel, its opulence was apparent. Marble floors, an oversize table bursting with flowers, and a Baccarat crystal chandelier greeted Kate and Jim as they entered the lobby. Everything, from the high ceilings to the floral arrangements to the elaborate chandeliers, appeared larger-than-life. The colors also radiated larger-than-life warmth successfully coddling the guests even if they were a bit over the top, just like the man who graciously offered to host the event honoring Kate's mother. As they approached the venue Kate caught a glimpse of the Grand Ballroom over the heads of the guests waiting to enter. She was staggered by the magnificence of the recently renovated room. The cream and golden-hued Grand Ballroom had been meticulously restored to its 1929 magnificence. Reminiscent of the Gatsby era, it was perhaps the most beautiful room in New York. As they drew closer to the entrance of the ballroom, Kate heard her now predictable pseudonym being screamed in her direction as a horde of people suddenly rushed towards her. "Nikki Heat, Nikki Heat, Detective…look this way…over here please," the photographers demanded as they began feverishly flashing pictures and bombarding her with questions. The normally confident Detective Kate Beckett felt a wave of panic begin to wash over her as she anchored herself to her father's arm. Her discomfort was growing as she began fidgeting and defending herself against the blitzkrieg of journalists and predatory paparazzi.

The party was in full swing; however, the guests of honor had yet to arrive. Castle was a bundle of nervous energy, but as always, the consummate host. He graciously shook hands and chatted briefly with every guest as they made their way past the core of press and paparazzi that Castle's agent had invited to generate buzz for the charity. With every hand he shook, Castle gave a warm smile while somehow managing to maintain constant visual surveillance on the entrance in anticipation Kate's arrival. He suddenly noticed the press and paparazzi swarming to the foyer just outside the Grand Ballroom. A frenzy of flash bulbs and shouts of "Nikki Heat" drew his attention away from his guests as he bolted for the source of the commotion. As Castle broke through the front line of the mob, he came to a sudden and complete halt. The crowd of normally rapacious reporters grew silent as Castle and Beckett stood face to face for the first time this evening. Castle was completely mesmerized by the woman standing before him and, for one of the few times in his life, was speechless. He had to remind himself to breath.

As their eyes met Kate's overwhelming sense of panic was replaced by a peace of mind she hadn't known in a very long time. The authentic smile that spread across Kate's face upon seeing Castle come to her rescue rose from a place inside her that she thought had died with her mother. As she looked into his eyes at that moment, no one else in the room existed. His eyes spoke volumes…reassuring her to push through her fears and doubts, telling her that he was there for her and that everything would be ok. It was a picture of Kate and Rick taken at that very moment that would appear on page 6 of the newspaper the next day under the caption…"Castle In Love."

Jim was moved by the moment between his daughter and the handsome author. When the tuxedo clad man busted through the throng of people to get to Kate only to stand there paralyzed, slack-jawed, and speechless, Jim couldn't resist a quiet chuckle. He noticed Kate's trembling ceased and her grip on his arm eased when her eyes met those of Richard Castle. Kate rarely gave him access to the men in her life, so it was not odd that he knew very little about Castle with the exception of what he read in the papers. Jim was pleasantly surprised at the soothing influence the author apparently had on Kate. The way Castle was looking at his daughter was a look Jim was very familiar with. It was the same way he had looked at his wife. "This man was in for the ride of his life," thought Jim Beckett.

The momentary detente ended and the reporters resumed their assault. Castle and Kate begrudgingly broke their gaze as Castle assumed the public persona the media had come to expect from him. He faced the relentless reporters turning on his characteristic charm. Castle begged their patience. He assured them that the evening was young and that he and the Becketts were looking forward to posing for pictures and answering any question they had about the Johanna Beckett Scholarship Fund or his work with the NYPD…provided they gave them the opportunity to greet the rest of their guests first. He invited them to go back into the ballroom and have a drink on him. They seemed placated and slowly filed back into the ballroom as Martha made her way up to Castle's side.

Martha immediately pulled Kate into a warm hug. "You look striking, kiddo," Martha whispered into Kate's ear. Kate thanked the older woman and returned the compliment. As the two women were greeting each other, Castle cleared his throat reminding Kate of her manners. "Oh…I'm sorry. Dad, this is Richard Castle and his mother, Martha Rogers. Martha…Castle…this is my dad, Jim Beckett," Kate said proudly.

Castle gripped Jim Beckett's extended hand. "Mr. Beckett, it's an honor to meet you," Castle said feeling a little bit like an uneasy teenager meeting his girlfriend's dad just before prom. Kate and Martha looked at each other sharing an amused grin at Castle's uncharacteristic nervousness.

"No, Mr. Castle. The honor is mine. Johanna would have been proud to have her name associated with such a worthwhile cause. Thank you!…and please call me Jim," the older man said cordially.

Jim turned his attention to Martha. "Ms. Rogers...Martha…may I call you Martha?…I'm actually familiar with your work. My wife and I saw you many years ago in an off off Broadway play," Jim recalled.

"Was it any good?" Martha quipped.

"The play…not so much…but you were a revelation," Jim reassured her. The two fell into an easy rapport as Castle and Kate looked on in wonder.

"Martha, may I escort you into the ballroom?" Jim said offering Martha his arm. The two shared a conspiratorial look leaving Rick and Kate alone in the foyer.

Castle turned to face Kate. He looked into her eyes as he took her left hand in his right and brought it up to his lips. He bowed down reverently, lightly kissing the back of her hand in an old fashioned gesture befitting the occasion and their surroundings. "You look stunning," Castle whispered breathlessly.

Kate felt the warmth of his kiss radiate from her hand to her cheeks and quickly spread to the rest of her body leaving her slightly weak in the knees. She had no idea what to make of her body's involuntary reaction to his touch, but she would be lying to herself if said she wasn't excited by it.

Kate gratefully took the arm Castle was now offering and allowed him to lead her through the gauntlet of flashing lights and curious onlookers. Castle proudly walked the nervous, yet beautiful daughter of Johanna Beckett into the ballroom to face the rest of the evening…together.


	3. A Delicate Dance

Chapter 3: A Delicate Dance

As Castle and Kate ventured further into the generously appointed Grand Ballroom, they found themselves near the stage. Despite the sizeable space, the skilled lighting technicians had succeeded in creating the intimate feel of a relaxed and cozy jazz club. Even the music painted a romantic scene. Kate thought she recognized a familiar voice. Sitting at a spotlessly polished, black Steinway grand piano was the Grammy-winning Canadian jazz vocalist Diana Krall, accompanied simply by a guitarist, drummer, and bassist. Krall was mesmerizing the audience with her deep contralto voice singing sweet and romantic melodies reminiscent of a bygone era. Castle expectantly watched Kate's reaction with eager anticipation. Kate's jaw dropped when she realized to whom the lovely voice belonged. "I _love_ her! Did…did you…kn…know? How did you…" Kate stumbled. Her reaction was just what Castle had hoped. Castle's only response was his trademark eyebrow wag. He couldn't conceal a triumphant smile. Questioning him was futile. Kate feigned an annoyed glare, but couldn't hide the contradictory smile that was trying to escape her pursed lips.

"Come on. There are a lot of people anxious to meet the inimitable Kate Beckett," Castle coaxed. Kate closed her eyes and took in a measured breath deeply through her nose and exhaled slowly through her mouth. She saw Castle's hand held out in front of her as she opened her eyes. Kate shyly took his hand with a weak smile and braved herself for the undertaking ahead. Castle was undeniably a master at working a room and he took Kate along for the ride. He thought he knew most of what there was to know about the inner-workings of Kate Beckett. What he didn't realize until tonight was that the normally confident Detective Beckett, the woman he has seen go head to head with the worst of the worst in New York, was a little bashful in a crowd. She fidgeted, blushed, and spent an exorbitant amount of time staring at the toes of her 4-inch Manolo Blahnik pumps. Just when he thought she couldn't be any more adorable, she throws something new at him. Kate's uneasiness was in stark contrast to Castle's audacity making them improbable, but natural complements to each other. As one might expect from a woman of Kate's fortitude, she rose to the occasion drawing courage from Castle's poise and self-assurance. They fell into a comfortable rhythm greeting New York's biggest luminaries, one after the other, until Kate thought she couldn't fake one more smile. As if right on cue, her father came to her rescue.

"Richard, would you mind if I borrowed my daughter for a quick dance?" Jim Beckett asked. Kate flashed a relieved smile at her father that didn't go unnoticed by Castle.

"Of course," Castle conceded with a nod.

Father and daughter took to the dance floor during an instrumental version of _Unforgettable_. This was familiar territory for the two of them. As a young girl, Kate had learned to dance to this song by standing on the tops of her father's feet while Johanna Beckett stood nearby shouting encouragement. _A_ _lot_ had changed since then. Kate was forced to learn the hard way how to stand on her own two feet. Jim was all too familiar with his shortcomings and the toll they had taken on his daughter. He accepted that fact that the harm had been done. He had made his "amends" with Katie years ago and she had forgiven him, but he knew the scars remained. Jim held out hope that he had finally met the person who could mitigate the damage the murder of his wife and his subsequent melt down had done to his daughter.

"So, Richard Castle?" Jim queried as they swayed to the music.

"What about him?" Kate coyly sidestepped.

"Well, he doesn't really fit the image they portray of him in the papers. Don't get me wrong. He's quite the charmer…but I…I don't know…I _like_ him! Under that larger than life image, he seems…I don't know…genuine," Jim admitted.

"Daddy…"

"Katie," Jim interrupted. "I'm not suggesting anything. It's just that from where I'm standing, he could have any woman in this room, but he can't seem to take his eyes off of…_you_!" Jim nodded with amusement towards the man across the room that was trying unsuccessfully _not_ to stare at them. Kate couldn't help but smile when her eyes met Castle's. Castle quickly averted his gaze in a vain attempt to protect his dignity. Kate and Jim looked at each other and laughed.

Kate suddenly became serious. "Dad. It's complicated. I've got a…"

"There's nothing complicated about the way you two look at each other, honey," Jim firmly interrupted. "It's the same way your mother and I looked at each other," he said with a hint of sadness and regret in his voice. Kate understood that her father wanted nothing more for his daughter than for her to have the chance to experience what he and her mother had experienced. Kate lovingly responded by holding her father a little closer. "He's a good man, Katie," Jim stated plainly.

Kate sought out Castle and their eyes met from across the room, "Yea Daddy. He is!"

Moments later, Castle tentatively approached Jim tapping him on the shoulder. "May I cut in, sir?" Castle asked. "The press is anxious to get some shots of Jameson Rook and Nikki Heat dancing," he feebly explained.

"She's all yours, son," Jim conceded with an encouraging smile.

Castle and Kate assumed a respectable dance posture for the awaiting paparazzi allowing them the promised photo-op. As the song played, they cautiously danced amidst the grating lights of dozens of flash bulbs. The photographers seemed to lose interest when one of the more infamous stars of The Real Housewives of New York made her grand entrance. At the same moment, the band began playing the classic Rosemary Clooney version of _Why Shouldn't I. _

_All my life I've been so secluded _

_Love has eluded me_

_But from knowing second hand, what I'd do of it_

_I feel certain I could stand a closer view of it_

_Why Shouldn't I…_

Without either of them realizing it, the formal dance posture they'd assumed for the cameras had slowly collapsed into one in which their bodies were intimately pressed together. They fell into a flawless rhythm, swaying to the tender song. Kate's cheek was nestled into the crook of Castle's neck with her chin resting on his shoulder, her eyes closed. The entirety of Castle's right arm was securely wrapped around the small of Kate's back and their joined hands were pulled in closely to Castle's chest, resting over his heart. The careful gap they had initially constructed for the cameras had disappeared and Kate could feel his breath caressing her ear as he softly hummed along to the gentle melody. She found it hypnotic and instinctively melted deeper into Castle's warmth. For a moment she forgot where she was and allowed her mind to give way to her heart.

As the song came to a regrettable end, Castle and Kate slowly disentangled their bodies. Their faces were only inches apart. They stared ardently at each other for what seemed like an eternity before realizing they had attracted an audience much worse than the paparazzi…their friends and family. The crew from the 12th made no attempt to mask their excitement at the _partners_ growing closeness. Lanie and Esposito, Ryan and Jennie, Captain Montgomery and his wife, and Martha, Jim, and Alexis had gathered near the pair and were gawking expectantly. Castle let out a frustrated sigh knowing that despite their best intentions the good will of their friends and family would only serve to scare Kate…something he had been very careful to avoid over the last several months. He leaned in to whisper in Kate's ear. "I could use some air. You?" Castle asked offering an escape from the unwanted attention.

"Yes, please!" Kate responded.

"Meet you on the balcony in five?" Castle asked hopefully.

"Yea…sounds nice. In five…" Kate replied with an affectionate smile.

Kate retreated to where all ladies go to gather their thoughts and regain their composure…the lady's room. After applying a fresh coat of lipstick, she hesitated as she stared at herself in the mirror. Looking at her reflection she realized she was seeing herself for the first time in a long time…really seeing herself. Through Castle's eyes she was now able to see the side of herself that she had put away like an old doll you'd put in an attic chest and forget. You don't realize how much you've missed her until you finally pull her out and dust her off. She realized she did not want to lose her again, which meant she could not lose _him_. Maybe it was possible to reconcile the girl she thought she had lost with the woman she had become. The bathroom attendant noted her pensive mood. "You all right, Miss?" the attendant asked. "Never better!" Kate responded.

Castle retreated to where all men go to gather their thoughts and regain their composure…the bar. He signaled to the bartender who immediately recognized him. "Mr. Castle. What can I get for you?" the bartender inquired.

"Two glasses of your best champagne, Ernie," Castle requested. As the bartender returned with two flutes of the golden bubbly beverage, Esposito interrupted Castle in his revelry. "What's up bro? Where you going with that champagne?" Esposito asked teasingly with a pleased look on his face.

"Uh…Uh…nothing…nowhere. Just thirsty, I guess…love me some champagne, you know. Uh…what's up with you…b…bro? I…I…uh, I gotta go!" Castle stuttered as he made his way towards the balcony. Esposito smiled as he watched his friend march toward his future.

Kate managed to make her way to the balcony unnoticed. She spent her entire life in this city, but it always seemed to take her breath away when she least expected it. She leaned on the railing with her back to the door and stared mesmerized at the skyline waiting for Castle. She heard the doors open. A husky voice called her name, "Kate?" She slowly turned around.

"Josh! What are you doing here?" exclaimed Kate.


	4. A Lucky Man

Chapter 4:

Castle made his way to the Oak Bar. Originally designed by Plaza Hotel architect Henry Hardenbergh in 1907 as a men's bar, many a nervous groom and disheartened gentleman had drank away their frayed nerves in front of artist Everett Shinn's original murals. Overlooking the vibrant views of Central Park, the bar had an old money, clubby charm that resonated with New Yorkers. It seemed the perfect place for Castle to distance himself from the party…and from Kate. Castle found a seat at the end of the bar away from the crowd. He had a white-knuckle grip on a glass of Macallan 30 year old scotch. He stared intently into the amber liquid as if the answers to his questions could be found there.

Castle rarely indulged in self-pity. He thought it was a waste of time, but he allowed himself this brief moment before his thoughts returned to the event that had become an obligation instead of the gift to Kate that it was intended to be. Castle recalled the old adage, "it's not really giving if it doesn't hurt a little." If that held true, then he was feeling particularly generous right now…and no small bit selfish. He didn't offer to host this fundraiser expecting anything in return, but it hurt nonetheless to see Josh sweep in to save Kate's day.

"Snap out of it Rick!" he thought. "This night isn't about you," he reminded himself. He put this evening together for one simple reason…just to see her smile. Not the forced smile she puts on for the rest of the world, but the one that comes from a place deep inside Kate that she only unveils when she thinks no one is looking. He thought he saw that smile when he had liberated her from the initial barrage of paparazzi. He foolishly assumed that he had been the reason behind that beaming grin, but now reasoned it was simply gratitude he was seeing.

Jim Beckett had noticed the author's demeanor abruptly change only moments ago after a brief conversation with a tall, dark-haired man. Instinctively, Jim followed Castle out of the Grand Ballroom to the storied hotel bar. Jim took the seat next to Castle. His intuition told him that Castle's unexpectedly sullen mood had something to do with his daughter. "Where's Katie?" Jim gently probed.

Castle took a sip of his drink and forced a gracious, albeit weak smile. "Josh finally showed up. They're outside talking…toasting…I'm not sure," Castle opined.

"Who's Josh?" Jim asked curiously.

"Who's Josh?" Castle parroted back at Jim, his brows knitted with a puzzled look on his face. "Uh…um…he's her boyfriend…has been for a while," Castle responded.

Oh!...Uh? How long? Never mind…it doesn't matter. This is the first I'm hearing about him. You, on the other hand…you've been in Katie's life for many years," Jim divulged.

Castle was confused. "Many years? It's only been two years or so since I've been shadowing your daughter.

"You were shadowing my daughter long before that, Richard."

"I'm sorry. I don't understand, Jim," Castle asked curiously.

"Kate's mother…my wife, Johanna spent hours upon hours reading legal briefs, pleas, and all sorts of legal documents. She was single minded and driven," Jim explained. Remind you of anyone we know?" said Jim sharing a fleeting laugh with Castle.

"Johanna had a guilty pleasure that very few of her colleagues knew about. She escaped from the reality of the everyday legal labyrinth by devouring mystery novels at night. About five years before she died, she discovered a young novelist whose books she couldn't put down. If she wasn't working or taking care of us, she was consuming this guy's novels. I had to convince myself that it was silly to be jealous," Jim chuckled.

"After Johanna died, it took Katie and I months before we had the courage to go through her things. By that time, I wasn't much help and Katy was left to clean up the mess on her own," Jim said with an air of regret. "She found Johanna's collection of books. She needed to feel close to her mother. She coped with her mother's death by losing herself in the last books her mother had enjoyed. Somehow reading exactly the same words her mother had been reading allowed her to feel closer to her mother," Jim said suggestively.

"Richard, those words…they were your words," Jim revealed.

Castle was staggered by Jim Beckett's disclosure. He knew Kate was a fan of his fiction, but why didn't he know his writing had helped her through the difficult period following Johanna's death? "Then again, why would he?" he admitted to himself. Outtakes of their last two years together played back in his mind. "I was an arrogant ass when we first started working together," Castle considered regrettably to himself. "Why would she admit that to someone like me," he thought.

"Tonight…I almost saw a glimmer of my old Katie…the girl she used to be before…Johanna…Umm…before her mom died," Jim stated pausing to rest a reassuring hand on Castle's shoulder. "Be patient with her, Richard. If she's half the woman her mother was, she's worth the wait," Jim promised as he excused himself. Castle was sorry to lose his company and returned to staring into his glass of scotch not knowing what his next move should be, but sure he wasn't ready to give up on the most amazing woman that's ever come into his life.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Josh! What are you doing here?" exclaimed Kate. "I thought you had surgery tonight. How did you know where to find me?" Kate asked disappointedly.

Josh moved closer to Kate holding up two glasses. "I bumped into your buddy Castle when I came in. He told me where to find you and said you might like one of these," he said giving Kate a glass of champagne. Kate offered a vacant smile taking the glass of champagne she had anticipated sharing with Castle. Kate had an unexpected epiphany. She realized she didn't really _know_ the man standing in front of her. Of course, she knew him. She knew him with her mind, but not with her soul. They had been dating for several months, although he had been gone "saving the world" most of that time. Naturally, she had given in to her physical needs and occasionally found comfort in his arms, but was that intimacy? The answer was simple…nothing she had ever experienced with Josh came close to the connection she had felt with Castle. True intimacy was what she felt moments ago on the dance floor in Castle's arms, or in the break room when he had interlocked his fingers with her own in an everyday indication of closeness, or in countless other gestures offered over the last several months. What she had experienced with Castle was intimacy body and soul. What she had with Castle defied logic. Unlike her relationship with Josh, she did not have to convince herself that she was feeling _it_ …she just did.

When Josh inched closer to give his girlfriend a kiss, Kate quickly redirected his lips to her cheek. Josh picked up on Kate's ambivalence. He gave Kate a dejected smile. "I'm such an idiot. When I walked out here…the look on your face wasn't for me…was it? You were expecting someone else…weren't you, Kate? It's _him_, isn't it?" demanded Josh. The downcast look on Kate's faced tacitly indicated agreement. "I feel so stupid. _He_ looked like a Mack truck had hit him when I saw him at the bar. The champagne…_he_ was bringing it out here to you, wasn't he?" Josh added with an air of resignation. Kate could only nod in agreement, searching for the right words to say.

She went from feeling like she was on top of the world to feeling like the lowest piece of trash in a mater of five minutes. As a cop, Kate thought she had grown accustomed to the range of emotions that came with the job. One minute you're giving a tourist directions, the next your pointing you're gun at someone begging him not to force you to shoot him. Unfortunately, a cop's normal coping mechanisms don't always translate into real life. Honestly, she didn't know what to say to Josh, but he was a decent man and put her out of her misery.

"You deserve to be happy, Kate. Castle is a lucky man. Good Bye!" Josh said. His kiss hit its mark landing squarely on her cheek. She smiled at the man who she now knew she could gratefully count amongst her closest friends.


	5. Finding Your Voice

_**Author's Note: It's been a while since I've updated...demanding job. You may want to re-read the last chapter for continuity's sake before you move on.**_

Chapter 5: Finding Your Voice

Castle put his game face on and summoned the courage to return to the party. He would not let Josh's sudden appearance discourage him from giving Kate this special night. She deserved his best effort regardless of the inevitable damage it may inflict on his self-respect. Castle bumped into Martha and Alexis as they were exiting the ladies room. Martha immediately recognized her son's brooding demeanor. "You all right, darling?" a concerned Martha asked her son.

"I'm fine," he lied. "Are you ladies having a good time?" he asked with a forced smile.

"Where's Kate?" the teenager asked innocently.

"She's with her boyfriend, honey. I'm sure they're around her somewhere," Castle lamented.

Alexis and Martha shared a concerned look. "Daddy, you did a wonderful job tonight. Everything is just perfect," Alexis said trying to comfort her father.

"Perfect, uh? Right…perfect. It's been a profitable evening for the charity," Castle said.

I know Kate appreciates it," Alexis offered supportively.

I'm…I'm sure she does," Castle responded.

Martha knew that there was nothing that she or Alexis could say to Richard that would be of any comfort. Castle had admitted his feelings for Kate to his mother weeks ago when she confronted him about the sniper attack at the diner. Martha accepted the dangers Richard unnecessarily faced because she knew Kate Beckett was good for her son. Since her son had met the detective, he was a different man. He was grounded…content…happy. He had found his magic. She only hoped that Kate would wake up and see what she's been missing…and soon.

XXXXXXXXXX

As Castle distractedly turned the corner to enter the ballroom, he came face to face with Kate almost knocking her over. "Hey," Castle said weakly, close enough for her to smell traces of whiskey on his breath.

"Hey, Castle! I've been looking for you. Can…can we talk for a second?" Kate asked hopefully.

"Uh…I guess…sure," he replied. He was not ready to have another 'I'm sorry. He and I are together and I don't want things to be awkward' conversation. Luckily, before Kate could go any further, the evening's overly ebullient event planner, Tiffany or "Tiff" as she liked to be called, popped up without warning saving Castle.

"Mr. Castle! Where have you been? They're looking for you. It's time," Tiff said unwittingly coming to Castle's rescue. Castle was clearly relieved.

"Time? Time for what, _Tiff_?" Kate asked clearly annoyed.

"Time for your host to make an eloquent pitch for your mom's scholarship fund," Castle said.

"Oh! Right! I…I just wanted to tell you…" Kate said contritely pausing to look over Castle's shoulder at the overzealous planner vying for Castle's attention. The curious woman was watching the pair with rapt interest. "Never mind. It'll wait. I'll see you inside, right?" Kate asked with a hopefully smile.

"Of course."

XXXXXXXXXX

Castle took the stage clinking his champagne flute with a fork to get everyone's attention. The crowded room became quiet and the guests turned their attention to the handsome author who had taken the stage, no one more so than Kate.

"On behalf of Jim and Kate Beckett, I would first and foremost like to thank all of you for coming," Castle began.

"The Nobel Prize-winning novelist, Albert Camus once said, 'Life is the sum of your choices.' Albert's quote is vividly brought to life in the story of Johanna Beckett. Johanna _chose_ to pursue the truth. The search for the truth often comes at great personal sacrifice; none as great as the sacrifice made by Johanna Beckett," Castle said somberly.

"I am filled with a profound and abiding gratitude to Johanna Beckett for all she did for the victims of injustice. So much violence, so much indifference," Castle said contemplatively. "Of course, indifference can be tempting. It is so much easier to look away from victims. Indifference is always the friend of the enemy, for it benefits the aggressor - never his victim, whose pain is magnified when he or she feels forgotten. Johanna was determined to speak for those who didn't have a voice. Johanna Beckett never _forgot!_ And neither should we!" Castle emphasized.

Castle scanned the room until his eyes met Kate's. "Regrettably, I never met Johanna Beckett, but I feel as if I have," Castle said holding Kate's gaze. "Her daughter is the living, breathing embodiment of everything Johanna Beckett represented…honesty, integrity, and a insatiable appetite for the truth. If Johanna Beckett was _half_ the woman her daughter is, then I truly regret never having met her," Castle stated sincerely looking directly into Kate's eyes. The poignant moment between the author and his muse did not escape the attention of those around Kate, her family and friends in particular. They studied the woman keenly looking for her reaction to Castle's very public sentiment. Kate's eyes were suffused with tears, but they never left Castle's. They were once again alone in the crowded room.

Castle reluctantly forced his attention back to the audience, "Today we honor a wife, a mother, and an ardent voice for the truth. Personally, if given the option, I would keep the voice I have," Castle said with a faint laugh. "It took me a long time to find it," Castle mused looking back towards Kate. "I'm asking you to set aside your apathy and fund a cause that will give young people the support they need to find _their_ voice," Castle said in an impassioned plea.

"Thank you," Castle said in conclusion and walked down into the crowd to shake hands and thank people personally for their support. Kate was temporarily immobilized by Castle's heartfelt and very public tribute to her mother _and_ _to her_. She was eager to make her way to him and tell him that Josh wasn't standing between them anymore; that her fear wasn't standing between them anymore. Unfortunately, she found herself commandeered by well wishers anxious to know about her and, more importantly, about her mother's work. She unsuccessfully tried to keep an eye on Castle as she fulfilled her obligation to the people that had come out to support the cause.

Kate finally managed to extract herself from the assembly line of well wishers. While seeking out Castle, she ran into Lanie. "Hey, Lanie." Kate said distractedly greeting her friend.

"Hey, girl! Some speech, uh?" Lanie probed.

"Yea. It was sweet," Kate said introspectively. "I'm looking for Castle. Have you seen him?" Kate asked as she scanned the ballroom.

"Where's Josh?" Lanie pried.

"Josh is gone," Kate said matter-of-factly.

"Gone? Called back to the hospital gone or _gone_ gone?" Lanie pushed.

"_Gone_ gone, Lanie. It's over! He's not what I'm looking for," Kate said without pretense.

"What are you looking for, girl?" Lanie prompted insistently.

"I already told you…I'm looking for Castle," Kate smiled coyly.

"Uh huh! I knew it," Lanie said with a perceptive nod.

"He's on the balcony, sweetie." Lanie said proud of the admission, albeit an indirect one, she had elicited from her normally guarded friend.

"You could have told me that when I asked you a minute ago," Kate said frustrated at her friend's gamesmanship.

"Girl, please. What fun would that have been," Lanie giggled as Kate made a hasty retreat to the balcony.

XXXXXXXX

Kate quietly opened the door to the balcony. She found Castle leaning over the railing gazing absently at the city below. She stood their silently watching him for a moment.

"Hey there," she finally said positioning herself next to him at the railing, her arms just touching his.

"Hey," Castle said smiling nervously.

"Your speech…Wow…Thanks!" Kate stuttered.

"That one was easy. Your mom was an extraordinary woman," Castle said echoing the dedication to Kate found in his first Nikki Heat book. Kate smiled at the obvious correlation. She shivered slightly in the evening breeze. Castle felt her tremble and gallantly removed his coat. He compassionately draped it across Kate's shoulders allowing his hands to linger on her shoulders for a moment. Kate delighted in the physical contact, but was dispirited when Castle suddenly backed away.

Nervous, but undeterred, Kate turned around to face him. "I need to ask you something, Rick?" Kate said.

"Yea…sure," Castle replied. He was caught off-guard by her serious tone and the atypical use of his first name.

"Why did you do all…_this?_" Kate begged motioning inside to the extravagant benefit thrown in her mother's honor. She mentally braced herself for his answer. Good or bad…it was time.

Castle took a few cautious steps closer to Kate affectionately brushing a stray tendril of hair away from her cheek. "Kate. You _know_ why I did this!" Rick said emphatically.

"I need to hear you say it," Kate pleaded with tears welling up in her eyes.

"I did it for you!" Castle declared as he softly stroked her cheek. "I guess it was little bit selfish too," he reflected.

Kate raised her eyebrows giving him an confused look.

"I did it for you…because I lo-…I just…I wanted the chance to make you happy. Making _you_ happy…makes _me_ happy!" Castle said sweetly.

A silent tear escaped Kate's eye. Castle gently wiped the tear away with his thumb resting his hand on her cheek. Kate hesitantly took Rick's hand from her face pressing a tender kiss into his palm. She placed his hand over her heart hoping he could feel what she was feeling, because at that moment words completely failed her. The rapid beating of Kate's heart against the hand she had just kissed sent a tremor through Rick's body. They didn't need words. Kate's eyes told him what her mouth couldn't. He knew that tonight had not been a mistake…that they were not a mistake. They took their time, savoring the intimacy of the moment. Kate and Rick leaned closer to each other leaving only a fraction of an inch between them. Their lips were just a shallow breath's distance away when…

"There you two are," Tiff said as she merrily barged through the door.

They both let out a frustrated sigh at yet another interruption. "Can I shoot her?" Kate whispered through clenched teeth.

"Get in line!" Rick returned resting his forehead briefly against Kate's before turning around to meet the annoying woman with less than perfect timing.

"Oh…did I interrupt something?" Tiff said in her instantly recognizable high-pitched voice.

"What would make you think that," Kate said under her breath.

Realizing their moment had officially passed, Castle politely asked Tiff what they could do for her.

"The mayor is leaving. He was looking for you and Ms. Beckett, sir." Tiff explained.

"Right…Of course. Lead the way, Tiff." Castle conceded.

Side by side, Castle and Kate followed the exuberant young woman back into the ballroom. As they made their way through the door their hands grazed each other's giving both of them pause. Castle looked down at their hands thoughtfully and gently interlaced his fingers with hers. Kate accepted his hand and held on tightly as they re-entered the party together. Martha saw them return and nudged her smiling granddaughter with her shoulder as the young lady wrapped her arms around her grandmother's waist with a smile. She had not seen her father this happy in a long time.

XXXXXXXXXX

The last of the guests left the gala leaving the Castles and the Becketts standing at the bar toasting to a successful evening.

"Thank you, Richard." Jim Beckett said extending a grateful hand to Castle. Castle took Jim's hand, the adolescent nervousness of their initial meeting only hours ago replaced by mutual admiration. Kate watched them closely. She was touched by the effortless kinship her father and Castle shared.

"Well, it's been a long night and I promised two lovely red-heads I would escort them home," Jim stated nodding towards Martha and Alexis. "Richard, you'll see that my daughter gets home safely," Jim said with feigned parental concern walking out with a red head on either arm.

"Who knew my dad was such a lady's man," Kate said with chuckle.

"You ready?" Castle said taking Kate's hand and leading her towards the exit.

"You have no idea," Kate said suggestively.

_**P.S. I may or may not have to change the rating to "M", so mark the story if that's your cup of tea. It could go from fluffy to tastefully filthy pretty quickly now that they've had their epiphany. If that's not your thing…thanks for reading along so far. **_


	6. Til Tuesday

_**Author's Note: This was actually written before the previous two chapters. It was intended to be part of a larger chapter, but I'm going on vacation and I didn't want to leave you guys hanging…hopefully, I'll be back up and posting on Tuesday. P.S. thanks for all the reviews!**_

Chapter 6: 'Til Tuesday

As they rode home in contented silence, Kate found herself lazily running her fingers through Castle's hair while he softly stroked the palm of her other hand with his fingertips. Something had changed in Kate after her meeting with Josh on the balcony. Castle realized he was probably an idiot for questioning it, but felt like he needed to know if they were going to move forward with this…with…whatever this amazing thing was that he and Kate had.

"Kate? What happened with Josh tonight?" Castle asked innocently.

Kate looked down at their joined hands and smiled introspectively. She paused searching for the right words to describe what she had been feeling when she said good-bye to Josh. "I was expecting to see _you_ on that balcony. I wanted to see _you_ on that balcony," Kate said glancing up from their hands occasionally to gauge Castle's reaction. "When I turned around and it was Josh standing there, it just hit me." Kate said.

"What hit you?" Castle urged.

"I think we…some of us anyway…we really only get one person…you know?" Kate said almost rhetorically. No matter how much we try, no matter who else we meet; we're never going to care about anyone as much as we care about that person. I realized tonight that I didn't want to miss out on that because I was with Josh. Does…does that make any sense?" Kate asked hopefully as she gently ran a finger down his cheek.

Castle's eyes were moist upon hearing Kate's simple, yet eloquent expression of her feelings. It made perfect sense to Castle. He had felt the same way for a long time. "Kate, I…" Castle started, but was interrupted as the driver abruptly stopped the car announcing that they had arrived at Ms. Beckett's apartment. They took their time making their way to Kate's front door.

"We have been dancing around each other for a long time," Kate reflected to herself. She thought she needed more. They stood inches apart at the door. "You want to come in?" she said suggestively running her hands lightly across his chest under the lapels of his jacket.

"Yes!...I mean, No!...Kate, please…" Castle stammered. He gently, but insistently took her hands from under his jacket and into his own to avoid completely losing control and changing his mind. Kate gave him a confused, frustrated look as Castle tenderly kissed the tops of her hands.

"Listen, Kate." Castle said soothingly. "I want nothing more than to make love to you right now. Trust me!" Castle insisted.

"But…" Kate interjected.

"But, you ended your relationship with Josh only hours ago…good move by the way," Castle said light-heartedly eliciting a faint laugh from Kate. "We just had a tremendous night; a majestic evening full of grand gestures and fairy tale romance. I don't want the fairy tale, Kate! I want real. _When_ we make love, we need to know it wasn't on the rebound; wasn't inspired by some grand gesture or magical event. I want it to be on some random Tuesday when nothing is going on and we've finished off the last of the leftover Chinese take out. I want it to be just about Kate and Rick, not about gratitude or grand gestures," Rick said searching Kate's face for a reaction.

Kate shook her head slowly from side to side in disbelief at the amazing man standing in front of her. She ran her top teeth over her bottom lip allowing a small smile to emerge much to Castle's relief. If she was being honest with herself, she knew it was the right decision for them…for the moment. She laughed thinking how the tables had turned. _He_ was going to make _her_ wait! She found that incredibly sexy, albeit frustrating. It didn't mean she couldn't have a little fun with him in the meanwhile.

He had rendered her hands useless keeping them pressed closely to his chest. Kate allowed her leg to escape through the slit in her gown. She strategically wove the freed leg between his own applying firm pressure to his groin. This mischievous move caused an immediate and involuntary reaction from Castle leaving him to seriously doubt his decision.

"Why do you torment me?" Castle said with a lusty look in his eye.

"Torment, Castle…really? You're being a little dramatic aren't you," Kate teased in a low husky voice.

"What can I say…I'm a writer," Castle murmured inhaling deeply.

"Besides, I haven't even begun to torment you," Kate said pushing in closer increasing the pressure between Castle thighs. He drew back, so that he knocked his back against the wall and stood up against it, stiff and straight. Kate grabbed his lapels and leaned into him. If he was going to leave her tonight, he was going to leave wanting more.

She softly captured his supple bottom lip between her own and lingered there for what felt like a glorious eternity. She released the kiss ever so slowly leaving a thread of their joined saliva still connecting them. She sensually ran her tongue over her own lips breaking the connection and savoring how he tasted. That simple act drove Rick wild in a way that her unrelenting leg couldn't. He stared into her eyes with shameless lust. She slowly eased her leg back into its hiding place beneath her gown and ran her hands down his chest as she released his lapels. Castle stood their completely immobilized. Kate moved to her door suggestively inserting the key into the keyhole. She opened the door and turned back to Castle with a seductive smile.

"Til Tuesday, Rick," Kate promised disappearing into her apartment leaving Rick standing breathless in the hallway.


End file.
